About BerwykDomoDF
A student in Belle, West Virginia
was suspended for three days for giving a classmate a cough drop. School
principal Forest Mann reiterated the school's "zero-tolerance"
policy...not to be confused with the "zero-intelligence" policy.
bodybuilding books
A man whose son had just passed his
driving
test went home one evening and found that the boy had driven
slap into
the living room. "How did you manage to do that?" he fumed.
"Quite
simple, Dad. I came in through the kitchen and turned
left!"
banana nutrients
What do they call a meeting among the most
brilliant people in Burger Land?
A MEATing of the minds!
Pregnancy
Q: How many Taureans
does it take to change
a lightbulb? A: One, but just *try* to convince
them that the burnt
out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.
Grooming
What happened to the tiger who
took
a bath three times a day ?
After a week he was spotless !
wedding photography
"Do you turn on your computer with your left
hand
or your right hand?"
" My right hand."
" Amazing!Most
people have to use the on/off switch."
japanese gardens
Yo
mama so fat when she goes to an
amusement park, people try to ride
HER!
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A friend of
mine told me he had signed up
with one of these on-line
dating services. I asked him the other day
if he had had any luck and
he said he'd quit -- seems they'd
matched him up with his wife.
Pet Food
Q: How many publishers does it take to
change a
lightbulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two more to hold
down the
editor.
ThierryMaddogEa
A tourist walked into a fish and chip shop in
Ireland. "I'll have fish and chips twice," he orders. "Sure, I heard
you the first time," came the reply.
BernaldYvetFM
Why can't blondes
make Kool
Aid?
Because they can't figure out how to get eight cups of water into that
tiny little package.
BancroftAeneaszV
Camper: Look at that bunch of cows.
Farmer: Not
bunch, herd.
Camper: Heard what?
Farmer: Of cows.
Camper: Sure
I've heard of cows.
Farmer: No, I mean a cowherd.
Camper: So
what? I have no secrets from cows!
LaibrookWestunFy
Old-fashioned Zachary approached Lureen's
father, intent upon asking him for her hand in marriage.
"Sir,"
he blurted out, "I have an attachment for your daughter, and
"
"See here, young man," interrupted the parent, "when my daughter
needs accessories, I'll buy them myself."
EvianBridgeAq
Q: Why is the banjo player a fiddle player's
best
friend?
A: Without him, the fiddle would be the most hated
instrument on
earth.
NiccoloMaeAdamRE
First Boy: Why is your brother
always flying off the handle
?
Second Boy: Because he's got a screw
loose !
KeelyMeturatolV
Q: How many Virgos does it take to
change a
lightbulb? A: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1
millionth.
LyfingHalrB
Q: What
did the thermometer say to the
other thermometer?
A: You make my temperature rise.
BeldonDonelQI
What did the Gorilla do with the apple
he was
holding in his hands?
He brought it to school and said, 'An Ape-lle
for the
teacher!'
NinianAirleasJk